Let's Start With Two examples:
1) This girl comes into the gym and sits on the weight training bench next to mine. She pulls out her cell phone and takes up the bench so no one else can use it for WEIGHT TRAINING. There are no other benches available for anyone else who may walk in needing one. What would YOU do? Here's what I did:
She sits there for over a HALF HOUR on her phone. But instead of instructing her on gym etiquette, I let her sit there like the idiot she is and I allow whoever actually needs to use the bench to SPEAK UP FOR HIMSELF (if he/she has the balls) instead of me being a Karen. At the end of the half hour on her phone, she gets up and leaves without having used the equipment for its intended purpose and having had MULTIPLE too-timid people walk past her who needed it without saying a word.
(The fact that I was slightly miffed about the whole thing highlights how I'm still in recovery. But still, I didn't say anything. So points to me for that.)
2) I am close to someone who is practically disintegrating with lack of muscle use. I know EXACTLY how to help this person, but alas . . . I know the person isn't going to give a crap about what I say. The person just wants to complain. So I save my breath.
None of this is easy, but I'm getting better.
AFTERTHOUGHTS
If you ever wonder why I make the posts I do, it's because of this:
Something in me wants very deeply to be useful, and if you find what I say useful, that's your choice because you kept reading. And thank you! This is my platform for saying what I'm thinking in the most impersonal and useful terms possible to anyone who wants to listen. It's my way of venting all the Karen shit instead of keeping it all stuffed up inside.
But other than this, you will not find me assaulting anyone personally with unsolicited advice UNLESS you come to me complaining about the stupid shit you're doing to yourself. That's where I draw my line. You complain to me about the stupid shit YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF, I will be KAREN UNLEASHED and you will get bombarded with unsolicited advice.
The problem is, if you're complaining about your life and perpetuating your own problems, you're not likely to take my advice anyway, which means I am wasting my valuable time again. If I perceive that I am wasting my time . . . If I unleash my best on you and you don't take it and you keep doing the same stupid shit TO YOURSELF, I'm seriously done. I can't even.
I had a mean girl once give me very harsh advice. She shot straight and true and got me RIGHT in the heart where I deserved it because I had been disrespecting myself.
I took her advice nonetheless and have never looked back. Even though she was very very MEAN and completely lacked empathy. I took her advice because she was SMART and she was RIGHT. THAT was the day Push-Over, Self-Disrespecting Holly NEEDED to die AND DIED. I took her mean advice because I am ALSO SMART, regardless of how mean she was.
I, on the other hand, am not mean. Unlike that old once-friend, I gently hand you the coffee black, but I don't throw it in your face. I just serve it black.
If I serve you my best black coffee . . . share my sound words . . . and you think it's time to argue with them or you sit there justifying yourself and you keep doing the stupid shit you're doing anyway . . . I can't . . . I just can't. I will see that and I'll be done. I don't have time for it. I may not be a mean person but I'm also not a nice person. Nor am I a stupid person whose time and breath means nothing to me.
***
What does this have to do with witchcraft? EVERYTHING. And nothing.
You don't need Uncrossing. You don't need Reversing. All you need is self-respect. And THIS is the place where the True Magic can happen. The "Magic Word" isn't just "No" to others; it's saying a firm "NO!" TO ONESELF by being UNWILLING to waste time on stuff that doesn't further your agenda in life.
