Stop Casting Love Spells at People: A Better Way to Use Love & Romance Ritual Oils

April 14 2026

Stop Casting Love Spells at People: A Better Way to Use Love & Romance Ritual Oils

In witchcraft traditions worldwide, the idea of a "love spell" has tended to be based on the casting of a spell AT a "target person." The target (say Prince Eric) suddenly falls madly in love with the person (Ariel) who has been madly in love with him all along and then all chaos ensues. If you think about it long enough, you'll notice the archetype of this type of spell casting doesn't end with "and they lived happily ever after."

There is a good reason for this. The person affected by the love spell falls hopelessly in love. That was the only thing Ariel had the brains to take into account, because that was the only thing she cared about. The witch got paid, which was the only thing the witch cared about, and whatever balance of nature had existed before all of that was suddenly upset and everyone got hurt. (The only place this doesn’t happen, by the way, is in Disney, where they manipulate all the fairy tales into their own money-generating contortions.)

A Better and Safer Way to Cast Any Love Spell

I will start by saying that when you've already fallen in love with someone, you are in love with THAT PERSON. Once that happens, if you aren't an emotionally mature person, then that person falling into love with you can easily become the only thing that matters to you.

If that is how you view it, then the rest of this blog post is probably not for you. You will likely go to any means to get that person to fall in love with you, including turning that person into a target of your magic. If you're successful, the person will basically lose their own will and become a victim of both your spell and their own hormones for however long until the reality of the imbalance that was created by magic finally hits. And at that point, the opposite of "happily ever after" begins to happen.

I won't go into that horror here. What I will say is if you'd like to be the recipient of a love that lasts and be in love with someone who has his own will, AND be within the beautiful balance of nature, then this blog post is for you.

The Flexibility of Love Oils

Luckily, ALL of Twichery's love ritual oils can be applied to ONESELF to manifest love from within, instead of at a "target person" who isn't even consenting to your spell.

You have probably heard conjure oils, ritual oils, spell oils, magical oils referred to as "condition oils." This is for good reason. Calling it a "condition oil" (even though it's less common) infers that these oils can be used to condition someone, including oneself.

We are all raised to receive "conditioning" from our families, our parents, our friends, our culture. This subconscious "conditioning" sets us up to attract to ourselves what we are currently attracting. If a thought occurs to someone, "I am unsuccessful in love," it implies several things. 1) That the person desires love, 2) that success (so far) has not been had, and 3) that "I am someone who doesn't have success in love," which implies, ultimately, that this poor soul isn't just naturally going to come upon true love. This can indeed cause someone to think that "The only way for me to have someone love me is if I cast a spell on them."

If we take our eyes off of past seeming "failures" (which I'd rather call "learning experiences,") we can observe the social conditioning that has preceded these so-called "failures" and work from the point of conditioning that has been the source of those "failures." And then we can go about the process of skillfully reconditioning OURSELVES (instead of aiming our magic at non-consenting others).

Relabeling Failures and Reconditioning Oneself

When we instead label these "failures" as "learning experiences," we are free to stop blaming ourselves and others and to focus on the conditioning as being the source of those failures/experiences.

Conditioning is programming. Just like a computer that is running a program, if we have (by whatever means) received programming/conditioning to experience failures in love, then it is THIS PROGRAM RUNNING WITHIN US that is the source of love that doesn't work out. There is no shame nor condemnation here. We all came here to have a condensed learning experience, and so we have had them. (And that is, by the way, a success! Even though it may not be the success we were intending.)

Once we recognize our experiences as the result of a PROGRAM RUNNING, we are now free to learn how to RECONDITION ourselves; to let go of the programming that "love doesn't work out for me" and to replace that programming with "I have found the love of my life."

Turning Off the Bullshit-O-Meter

Before we go any further, I want to tell you NOT to worry about affirmations. This is USUALLY where my clients get into trouble. They think I'm going to tell them to start saying to themselves, "I have found the love of my life" when they haven't; they think I'm going to tell them to lie to themselves; to replace, "I am unsuccessful in matters of love" with "I am wildly successful in matters of love" when there is no evidence for that in their current reality.

When you lie to yourself like that, OBVIOUSLY your bullshit-o-meter is going to go off. As it should. You look at the reality of the "failures"/"learning experiences" and say, "If I pretend that 'I am wildly successful in matters of love' in light of all these failures, then I will be lying to myself." And of course, if you're an honest person, you won't be able to sustain the practice of such lying "affirmations."

Now that we have gotten that truth out of the way, we can get to the truth of something else. This truth is that our words are creative. If we can begin to accept that the words, "I am unsuccessful in love" don't represent the reality of the situation, but they more accurately represent THE PROGRAMMING of the situation, then we can start making some headway, and we can separate the reality (i.e. results of programming) from the programming itself.

The ACTUAL REALITY, in proper self-talk language, is that "So far, I have not had success in love."

Instead of the reality being "I am unsuccessful in love" (which is a self-programming statement), we can be more accurate about the role of reality by saying "SO FAR, I have not had success in love."

What did we just do there? We took the CREATIVE FORM OF BEING (NAMELY "I AM") AWAY FROM the expression of reality. We are removing THE INFINITE POWER OF AN "I AM" STATEMENT from reality's "toolkit."

What Are You Putting Into Reality's Toolkit?

Reality doesn't GET to have our "I AM" STATEMENTS. Our "I AM" statements are CREATIVE PROGRAMMING. When a person says, "I am unsuccessful in love," that person is PROGRAMMING HER MIND WITH THE MOST POWERFUL PROGRAMMING CODE AVAILABLE TO HUMAN BEINGS, namely "I AM" statements. "I AM" statements are a tool that we DON'T give to reality to wield however it wants.

So we are now going to DEMOTE REALITY. We are not going to give reality the right to our BEST TOOLS; our "I AM" statements. We are going to give reality the right to state ONLY what CIRCUMSTANCES are, and not WHO WE ARE.

How do do this? We do this by using the word "have" instead of "be" or "I am." We will allow reality to use the tool of "have" statements: "So far, I have not had success in love." This is allowing reality to state the truth WITHOUT allowing it TO PROGRAM THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.

This disentangling MUST happen before we can experience consciousness as powerful creators. We are powerful creators, YES. But if we entangle "I AM" statements with undesirable conditions/circumstances, then we are allowing "reality" and transient realities to be the creators instead of ourselves.

Worshipping "Reality"

Somewhere during childhood we discover "Reality" or "The Way Things Are." That is when we start thinking of reality as having the ultimate say. We may even call it "science." Or "Science."

Doing this turns reality into Reality. Or into a god. Or, even worse, into God.

We are in 3D here, obviously, so there is a certain respect or regard we need to give reality. But it is NOT the regard one would give a God. Reality DOESN'T get the ultimate say. To give reality the ultimate say is to worship it as all-powerful. But to think reality has or should have the ultimate say is based entirely on social CONDITIONING.

It can easily appear that reality is THE hammer capable of smashing anything else in the world. But that is only because we have been conditioned to give it that power. As children, as soon as we begin thinking of reality as all-powerful, we begin to demote ourselves. We allow reality the pleasure of having our "I AM" statements from then on because, we believe, "Reality is clearly more powerful than I am." And in THAT INSTANT, we forfeit our godhood; we forfeit our "I AM-NESS" to reality.

Our words and speech are powerful. What happens when you (THE VERY ESSENCE of God) gives her power to reality? Reality becomes God! And a God (you) who gives her power to Reality becomes . . . a mere human who "is not successful in love" (or whatever other programming we've allowed our infinitely powerful "I AM" statements to support.)

Demoting Reality and Reclaiming Your Creative Power

How do we demote reality? How do we STOP worshipping reality? We take back ALL of our "I AM" statements. And we begin to use them as the creative tools they are IN OUR FAVOR instead of in favor of reality.

YOU, Dear Reader, of all people, are MOST in a position to do this. Because YOU are ALREADY engaged in witchcraft! You are ALREADY a renegade! You likely ALREADY consider yourself a sovereign being. You ALREADY consider yourself the "Essence of God" or whatever you like to call yourself. So it's not a gigantic step to start thinking damn seriously about your sovereign godly tools and how to use them more wisely now than ever. Not the LEAST of which are your WORDS. YOUR SPELLS.

Yes, you had a mindwipe, and you don't always remember your powers. No big deal. You are learning this NOW, and it is time to seize the day! You've already thrown out authorities. You know how to do it. The authority you need to throw out now, to demote now, is, you guessed it, reality. If you've ever thought of reality as "Reality," let's get absolutely rid of that capital letter R and REMEMBER that, in English, the word "I" is CAPITALIZED FOR A REASON. Just like God is capitalized for a reason. You are a sovereign "I AM." And if you are sovereign, you are TOO BUSY to be worshipping someone or something as if they/it were above you. Call bullshit and do it NO MORE.

Back to Love Spells (or ANY Spells for That Matter)

After all this diatribe about "I AM" statements, what does this have to do with love and love spells? Everyfreakingthing.

We don't need to point a love spell at anyone outside of ourselves. We don't need someone to fall madly in love with us. Why would LOVE ITSELF need someone to fall in love with it? YOU ARE LOVE ITSELF.

Here is an example of how I would use Come To Me Ritual Oil in my spiritual practice. I would start by acknowledging reality PROPERLY by granting to it the expression of reality so far. Example:

In this statement, we have GRANTED reality its due. Now that we have granted reality its due (and nothing more), let us grant OURSELVES the ULTIMATE TRUTH that WE AS THE ESSENCE OF GOD ARE DUE. Example:

You granted reality its due, and now you have granted yourself, as a CREATOR AND AS A WITCH, YOUR DUE, which is (among an infinite number of other wonderful things) THE VERY FULFILLMENT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

This is your "I AM" programming ability PROPERLY APPLIED. It requires ZERO former reality experience with "success in love." It requires ONLY that you be and admit to being THE CREATOR YOU ARE; and using the tools skillfully that a Creator uses to attract romance.

Website Example

If you have ever worked on a website (and I hope you have, because this is a powerful example), you will know that it's different working ON a website than it is just being on a website.

If you go to my Twichery.com website, you will be able to purchase products there. You can message me from there. You can look at products on the website.

What CAN'T you do? You can't set your own prices. You can't write blog posts. You can't go in and change the code in any way. But guess what? It's my website, and I CAN do those things, because I am working the back end of the website; I am the ADMIN of Twichery.com.

Your life and your programming are just like me and my website. In your life, you get to experience the things you experience from day to day just like you get to experience my website. Your experience is LIMITED. Things seem to just be there. In "regular life" you only have control to look and buy. Your life is a program just running and you are a character in the program. If you haven't had success in love, then that is your offish love program just running. Your life is the reality. If I myself go to Twichery.com on the user end, the only thing I can do there is look at products and buy products. Not even I can PROGRAM from Twichery.com.

But if I want to go to the programming end of Twichery.com, I need to log in to my Twichery Shopify Account. Likewise if you want to get into the PROGRAMMING end of your life (the Admin side of your life), then you can go to the Admin side and rewrite your programs. From Admin, YOU get to decide your prices. YOU get to decide who gets to buy. YOU get to decide whether to grant refunds. YOU get to decide what products to sell and what the code says. You, as the programmer, get to CREATE the program through your focused intentions.

How do you get into the Admin side of your life? You've already been in it, and it's by using "I AM" statements. If you have ever heard yourself saying, "I am unsuccessful in love," then you were in the Admin of your life creating your lack of success in love. You were just doing it UNCONSCIOUSLY. You let the word "I am" escape your lips in connection with something you didn't want in your program.

So you've been in Admin before. You already know how to do this. You just need to do it SKILLFULLY, and CONSCIOUSLY, and only apply "Admin talk" (such as "I AM") to create the programs YOU intend to create. Namely, "I am the essence of love, and I therefore program my 3D self to experience romantic love."

You Are Careful With Your Words From Now On

KNOW when you are in Admin, and use your words WITH CARE. If you say, "I am," YOU ARE IN ADMIN.

If you want to acknowledge reality, then USE LESS POWERFUL WORDS, such as, "So far, my 3D self has not had success in romantic love." That's the "Programmer You" (AKA "I AM") simply observing the "Character You's" situation within the program. Then the "Programmer You" can say, "Since I AM the essence of Love, I program that I both radiate and draw true romantic love to me effortlessly."

THIS is skillful creator talk; instead of talk that has been conditioned by reality. And it is also THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC. It is THE ESSENCE OF WITCHCRAFT.

The Witch is who you are. You have DECIDED, otherwise you wouldn't be here! The Witch knows the Magic. The Witch practices the craft. GIVE YOURSELF TO YOURSELF, Dear Reader! And do not be afraid. Now is the time for us to learn and to become who we truly ARE.

Sincerely,
Rowan at Twichery

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